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I guess I’m whipped…

beartrap.jpg

Hey all, 

Wow, yesterday’s post was a hoot!  I did, however, get a couple of personal emails that insinuated (or flat out said) that I’m “whipped.” 

Example subject lines:

RELATED TO YOUR “WHIPPED HUSBAND BLOG”

Dude, how whipped are u?

Oooookay… 

This got me thinking. 

Based on my life and marriage, the definition of whipped must be: 

Whipped, noun
1. A man who is invested in a happy, healthy marriage with a woman he loves.
2. Engaging in a relationship of mutual give and take, where each person is more interested in the good of their mate, that their own happiness, thereby ensuring the latter.
3. Lucky bastard.

Antonyms: Bitter, miserable, alone, divorced, pre-divorced, unable to get divorced, settling for a long, unfulfilling life of unhappiness.  (Also see: selfish, stupid, clueless, narcissistic, leg-in-bear-trap.) 

As I told the writer above:  

“Whipped husband”…hmmmm…well, based on the rewards I get for keeping my wife happy, I guess I remain “whipped.”

Here is an actual photograph of a whipped man in his natural enviroment:

whipped.jpg 

Who else out there is “whipped?”

(Acerbic Villian, I KNOW you’re whipped, see #3, lol)

 -Perk

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28 thoughts on “I guess I’m whipped…

  1. Acerbic Villain on said:

    QUOTE: “Who else out there is whipped?”

    me… 🙂

  2. Terence on said:

    What is the spouse of an “unwhipped” man called?
    Clubbed? Reminds me of those cartoons depicting cavemen dragging their acquisition by the hair.
    Clubs and whips…what are talking about here?

  3. Terence,

    In my, admittedly, limited experience with these kinda guys, (I’m usually not “manly” enough for them, lol) I’ve narrowed down the “Nobody’s gonna call ME whipped…snort…spit…” attitude to three basic roots:

    1. Peer pressure, ie: my friends will think I’m a wuss.

    2. They believe what they see on TV, where any man who doesn’t bed anything that breathes, then treats them like trash and laughs about them to his buddies…is gay.

    3. Fear that same peers will find out he suffers from TWS*

    -Perk

    *TWS – “Tiny Winkie Syndrome

  4. Acerbic Villain on said:

    QUOTE: “TWS – “Tiny Winkie Syndrome”

    Come on. Let’s leave Dwai… err “Mr E Nigma” out of this.
    I’m sure he had enough of a headache from YESTERDAY.

  5. I wanna see MRS E comment to THIS post, lol!

    -Perk

  6. Mr. E. Nigma on said:

    Oh, Bother. Where to start! First off ‘whipped’ is an adjective. A man who is obedient to his female partner… in order to get some. If you said get what, your not whipped. I have been whipped along with the rest of the male population since high school. It doesn’t matter if your gettin’ any or not, it’s that your being obedient thinking you could!

    Secondly as to the size of Mr. E, my first name in Enormous. At least i don’t drive a big red dodge pick-up truck, compensate much?

  7. Dinana on said:

    Editorial Corrections:

    1. The email was a hilarious video about washing the dishes and was titled “RIGHT UP YOUR ALLEY” not NOT NOT “whipped husband blog”…

    2. What I said was “related to your whipped husband blog”

    3. yes, these apply “pre-divorced, unable to get divorced”, but we can now finally add “almost, finally divorced”…remember, I’m ending 25 years of marriage…I’ve seen all the stages…not that everyone faces jail, infidelity & complete financial collapse in their marriages. But who cares if I went to jail for a while??? It was only manslaughter…

    4. I’m happy you and Preggo have such a happy life together…it’s just hilarious when you trot yourself out as the poster boy for “Good Husbanding”

    5. Only a complete ASS would wish anyone anything else, and at most I’m only half an ass…

    I lost my train of thought…if I think of more, I’ll be back.

  8. Dinana,

    1. And what I wrote (see post above) was also: RELATED TO YOUR “WHIPPED HUSBAND BLOG”

    2. See #1

    3. I think you may have misunderstood the direction of my post. It was directed at husbands (ie: men). As you are not in this category, none of my points related to you.

    As someone who, even if only in jest, considers “Manslaughter Charges” in reference to her ex-husband, I would think that you would support any effort to “improve” men in general.

    4. Preggo and I DO have a happy life together, and if you’ll read yesterdays post (a long list of my inadequacies) hopefully, you’ll see that I do not “trot myself out as the poster boy for ‘Good Husbanding’” What I DO, is try to initiate conversations that may lead to be becoming a “better” husband.

    5. Unclear…at what point did I suggest that you were “wishing” any of this on anyone else?

    As most of your comments on this blog seem to be directed solely at insulting or belittling me personally, and seldom to the point of my post, I would have normally assumed that you we’re just taking another easy shot at me. You’re tone in this one, however, seems to indicate that I have offended you.

    If this is the case, I apologize. That was not my intention.

    Thanks for posting, your comments are always welcome here.

    -Perk

  9. Dinana on said:

    Perry,

    apparently my attempts at humor were lame. no apology needed…i’ll post no more!

  10. Jeni Bullis on said:

    Hey guys,

    First of all, I’m joining the Preggo’s fan club. I LOVE that you made the list! And, the fact that none of the other guys joined in by adding their own ideas, is just sad.

    But here’s one thing I don’t get about Mr. E’s ptsd. This is not the first time I have run across this mindset (sorry babe). So it seems that it goes something like this: “Honey, thanks for cleaning off your plate into the sink, but the disposal’s on the other side – could you just aim for that side?” “FINE!!! Why do I even try?! Nothing I do is ever right!!” Ok. so this is not a scene from the Bullis home, I’m just trying to make a point. So here’s what I don’t get – If I was going to go out and…mow the lawn, for instance. And didn’t set the wheels low enough, or didn’t put the bag on, or didn’t go in those silly rows where the wheels overlap (I’ve had lessons obviously), and Dan came and explained that if I would bag then he wouldn’t have to come along behind and rake, or go back over the grass I missed, or etc. It would just seem rediculous if I threw up my hands and said I would never mow again because I don’t “do it right”. So why do men, when given any kind of suggestions on an act that is meant to be helpful but actually creates more work, decide that now the best thing for them to do is just never try again.

    Ok – so I’m not directing this specifically at the Enigma family because it’s SO much bigger then them, wink wink. I’m just truely curious.

    And by the way, If I’d had mascara on yesterday – it would have been down my face. Dan and I had sideaches laughing so hard.

  11. Jeni,

    Great point! (And kudos on being brave enough to use your real name, lol!)

    Your question got me thinking and, in my uninformed opinion, here’s a possible answer…

    How do your little boys react when you send them back upstairs to “re-clean” thier rooms?

    Probably not with joy and laughter.

    I think, deep in our testonterony little hearts, most of us guys are still somewhere between 5-10. We didn’t want to do whatever it was in the first place, and “I never do it right, so why bother” is a great excuse to go back to our Playstations and let “Mommy” deal with the mess.

    This brings up a second point. I wonder how many of us had Mommys that just did this for us, and (if we were smart) we knew that they’d take care of it eventually, or (if we were not so smart) we just assumed that the “cleaning fairy” came through each night and dealt with it.

    Unfortuanately, a lot of guys, if only on a subconscious level, don’t undertsand that our wives aren’t just younger mommies with added benefits. (Awesome benefits, btw…)

    Now, before I get accused of being on a high horse, I can say the above from personal experinece, as I’ve caught myself (or more often, been caught) having the same attitudes.

    Okay, back to my sandbox.

    -Perk

  12. Jeni Bullis on said:

    Perk,

    Oops! Am I supposed to be incognito? oh well.

    I agree with the basic premise that many guys are a bit imature and may be somewhere down waaaay deep inside(couldn’t be intentional right?) just trying to get out of doing much to help their wives. But here’s the secret that I think many guys don’t know, or don’t believe: a less worked wife=a more active sex life. When women say things like “Honey, you’re never sexier than when you’re cleaning something” THEY’RE NOT KIDDING!!! Think about it this way: both husbands and wives work hard all day. Husbands come home and feel entitled to relax because they need off time. But most women would say she still has about 40% of her work to do before she goes to bed. So if both people are at about 60-70% of their energy expended by the time dinner comes along, and he’s done but she’s got 40% more energy to expend before bed – than he goes to bed with ALOT more energy left than she does. (Chris, I know the math doesn’t work!!!!)

    So, am I saying men should do dishes, laundry, take out the trash, sweep something…anything (and do it completely so she doesn’t have to finish the job) just to get more sex? YYYYYYYEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

    If men honestly get alot of their affirmation from the intimacy with their wives, then I would think a little elbow grease would be a no brainer.

  13. Acerbic Villain on said:

    PSH… Jeni, you didn’t put the bag on the mower!!!

    FOR SHAME!!

    OH DEAR LORD, WHY DO WE EVEN TRY!?!?!?!?

    😉

  14. Jeni,

    While I agree with the general idea of your post, I do have a problem with the “trading sex for favors” mentality.

    In all fairness, I also know that:

    1. Many women do this because it’s the only thing that works.
    2. YOU are married to a guy who understands the marriage relationship, and is a “partner” as well as a mate.

    That said, the down side of this concept (imo) is: “Well, my wife is sick/tired/busy, I’m not going to get laid tonight anyway…so I’ll just leave my dishes in the sink, on the counter, under the couch cushions, whatever.”

    I want my wife to know that I clean the kitchen, or vacuum the house because I love and appreciate her, I want to bless her, and she’s my best friend, not just because I happened to be horny.

    Sure, I’m all for great sex being an added benefit to blessing my wife, woo-hoo! But, I want the core of my motivation to be the blessing, not the sex.

    Also, I’m married to a frighteningly smart woman, and I’m concerned about planting a seed of bitterness in my spouse, ie: “he only picked up his socks because he wants some.”

    That can’t lead anywhere good, lol.

    Am I being overly-idealistic? (Common for me.)

    And, again, for ALL reading, I’m in no way saying that this is the standard I maintain, it’s just the target I’m shooting for. I’ve still got a long way to go.

    You’re thoughts?

    -Perk

    PS – Jeni – Thanks for your post, and for being someone I can speak this frankly to. You rock.

  15. Mr. E. Nigma on said:

    “a less worked wife=a more active sex life.”

    In that case I NEVER have to do anything ever again!!!

    You have already accused me of being somewhere in the 6-9 years old range, I’m simply being comsistant.

  16. E:

    You big, big freak.

    Thank you for proving my point, lol.

    -Perk

  17. Jeni Bullis on said:

    First of all, your attitude that all acts of service should be done out of an attitude of love and desire to bless is spot on a great description of biblical love. What I’m simply trying to shed light on is the practics of daily life and dynamics in a marriage. In this regard, I’m speaking to an average couple who have a good conscience toward each other, and don’t have major marital issues. If a husband comes to his wife with an attitude of “I did a,b, & c, so now you OWE me” that is the result of other much more serious marital problems and he should read 1 Peter 3:7 “Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”

    In light of that scripture, I think men should assume it fulfilling the command of “being considerate” by helping to carry the load of daily living, so that she feels supported and is not exhausted so much of the time. Dan and I have always looked at the chores of daily life as common goals – where as a team we tackle them in order to ackomplish them. And yes, for those sceptics out there, there have been times where I have helped him with his job because he needed it.

    So I guess I can see where you might feel like I was describing a situation where it is “sex for favors”, but in reality I think most women WANT to have sex with their husbands. They are just very tired, and may resent not having some help.

  18. Jeni,

    Thanks for clarifying that. I think you are right on the money!

    -Perk

  19. Mrs. E Nigma on said:

    Am I the only one who thinks that this is a very good reason to wake up tired the next day? Don’t get me wrong, I have been not interested because of the messy house, being tired because I worked all day at my job outside of my home. I think that you bringing up how easily some may give up and go back to Sportscenter is a very valid point. To quote Mr. E “can you make me a sandwich? It tastes better when you do it.” Don’t get me wrong, there are things that he does that I am very grateful for, but this brings me back to my original point of are the things we ask really to difficult?

  20. Mrs. E Nigma on said:

    Come on ladies, you can’t tell me that cleaning or non cleaning you don’t have those days where you think like a guy. Or am I the only person who thinks that is a very valid reason to lose some sleep? Don’t get me wrong (slow down Mr. E) there have been plenty of times that I have not been interested because I was tired or the house was a mess and I was bothered by the TP on backwards and the dishes were in the wrong side of the sink (that was for you AV) I do agree with Jeni that giving up after 1 try is ridiculous and that yes guys rarely evolve past age 16. (Note how I am giving you a little extra credit here guys) To quote Mr. E “but the tacos taste better when you make them for me” as Sportscenter or some other thing has his immediate attention. This brings me back to my initial argument of are the things that would make us happy really that difficult?

  21. Mr. E. Nigma on said:

    They really, REALLY, do!! I swear!

  22. Vic-the-Prego-Wife on said:

    Mr E-
    Sorry- but I sat here for several minutes trying to think of how to put this gently and it just didn’t work. Gimme a break. The memorial is over. Put your testosterone to work for you Man!

    If your wife put in as much effort to serving you as you do her- would you ever eat again?

  23. That’s my girl, right there!

    -Perk

  24. Mrs. E Nigma on said:

    I knew I liked that Vic girl!

  25. Anonymous on said:

    I do eveything my wife ask of e and I am a better person for it

  26. Anonymous on said:

    where all whipped for looking this up haha

  27. ugh i know im whipped =] but hell its worth it

  28. Mrs. Snyder on said:

    I honestly do think that no man should be refered to as “whipped”. He is just simply another type of man out there that enjoys pleasuring his wife in more than just sexually ways. Also if there is such a thing as a “whipped” man, than shouldn’t there also be a whipped woman. It honestly makes no sense to me as why anyone would be refered to as whipped for more than childish reasons, or jealous manners. I do not beleive that there is anything wrong whith wanting to please your wife.

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