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10 Things I Love About my Church

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Hey all,

So, an old buddy of mine was asking me some questions about the church we attend, and I came up with a list of 10 things I love about it. Not necessarily the “top” ten things, but some pretty good ones.

BTW, this list will be a lot funnier for the old crew from SS4S, but here it is anyway…

  1. My pastor has never called me into his office to “talk.”
  2. Anyone telling you that they feel “a check in their spirit” could result in a butt-kicking.
  3. I have yet to see a single chicken dance during worship.
  4. The word “Shekina” has yet to be uttered in my hearing.
  5. We like potlucks.
  6. People who want a new ministry get to start it themselves, the pastor will not recruit others, and maintains no pool of slave labor.
  7. We really like potlucks.
  8. Pastor has been known to use the word “pie-hole” in a sermon.
  9. Our worship leader teaches (on humility) that we ALL come before God with a booger in our nose. (I told you I’d never forget that one!)
  10. Sermon illustrations have included firing a compound bow in the sanctuary.

Obviously all tounge-in-cheek.

LOL,

-Perk

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20 thoughts on “10 Things I Love About my Church

  1. Acerbic Villain on said:

    “Pie-Hole” has to be my favorite on this list!

    – AV

  2. Dinana on said:

    When he fired the compound bow at you, was it a miracle that he missed?

  3. Good one Perry! But why stop without mentioning, the inevitable mentioning of the “M” word and subsequential alter call to the male half of our group.

    P.S. Gracie is beautiful, Congrats!

  4. Former Master's Slave on said:

    You know Perry, You’re the Greatest. No, Really, You are.

    I just think you should come and work for me, I mean the church, I mean for God… No, not for free. We are going to pay you in ministry experience. And money! ($200 a month)

    Hey there buddy. You have been working very hard these last few months. I think you should take a break. Why don’t you come to our ministry weekend? Oh, I need you to make reservations for the group. …and could you put together a flyer for it. Great, and I need you to do the cooking and watch the kids while we are all there. Awesome, You are the greatest! Really!

    God is really working through you.

  5. AaDO's wife--SuperDi on said:

    You know, don’t you, that almost everyone at your church that also reads this blog is going to come up to you on Sunday and talk about the “shekina glory…” 😉
    di

    (When’s the next potluck? I’ve been accumulating some great recipes!)

  6. AaDO's wife--SuperDi on said:

    Oh, and the horrible nasty English major wants to know what a “tounge” is. I tried to stop her but she is insisting…
    di

  7. Mary Lou on said:

    I can’t believe you left out that no one has ever come up to me with a message beginning with “God told me to tell you…” I am pretty sure that would also result in a butt whipping.
    We are also missing over paid administrators that like to point out they are paid more because they are far more intelligent than those of us doing the work (never mind that most of the people he is saying this to still had to correct him when he attempted to use his big boy words (yes I am still a little bitter towards him, sorry).
    Our church (yes I still feel it is my church) has never guilted people into working for free because it is what God would want.
    People I don’t know, don’t come up and tell me they love me.
    Our pastor could beat up any of the other pastors I have mentioned.
    Our church lets social misfits such as Perry and myself into their family and even lets us become part of the ministries.
    Finally our church has several of my closest friends and will always be part of my family

  8. Replies:

    AV – Yeah, that was my favorite too!

    Julie – I thought about that one, lol, but the memories were too horrible! No wonder it was so hard to get a date back then…

    FMS – Closure, buddy, CLOSURE! (But you’re right on…)

    AaDO’s Wife: 1. Yes, I’m awaiting the mocking. 2. Next potluck is in the works. 3. Ttthhhppp! (Spellcheck that!)

    Mary Lou – See my response to Van, lol. (ps – still an awesome reply, you rock!)

    “My pastor can beat up your pastor”…with the church logo…on a bumper sticker…oh yeah!

    -Perk

  9. And Perry also left out the one thing I will remember most about that chruch… when ever a child [kids being kids] or young adult would do something that was not a normal use for something inevitably a certain staff member would come around asking “Do you know how much that costs?”

  10. I think we’re gonna need a group hug after this…

    -P

  11. Mr. E. Nigma on said:

    Things I like about my church…

    1. Pastor didn’t issue an apology after I spoke on a sunday morning. (not saying he shouldn’t have)

    2. I can wear shorts to church.

    3. I can wear shorts to church on sunday morning

    4. I can preach in my shorts on sunday morning!

    5. Basketball is considered a ministry opportunity, not screwing around on God’s time.

    6. There is no 6am prayer meetings. (or 6am anything for that matter)

    7. We like potlucks!!

    8. The phrase ‘Blessed Subtractions’ would be considered an oxymoron.

    9. Two words – DONUTS! (ok 1 word, but it means alot!)

    10. I haven’t been told by my pastor that the ‘prophecy’ last sunday night… was about me. And we need to talk monday morning in my office.

  12. E Nigma,

    “There is no 6am prayer meetings. (or 6am anything for that matter)”

    Actually, there are several…you just don’t attend any of them.

    I think our pastor needs to call you into his office for a little talk.

    -Perk

  13. READ THIS COMMENT:

    Hey all, quick side note. Sorry that the comments in this post are a little wonky.

    I reset the “time zone” in the settings so that the posting times would be accurate, but it doesn’t change the post times on previous comments.

    So, until around 7pm tonight, new comments will show up in the MIDDLE of this thread, instead of at the end.

    Again, sorry about that. All should return to normal after 7pm.

    -Perk

  14. Mr. E. Nigma on said:

    That’s another thing I like about our church… our pastor doesn’t even have an office to be called into!! The way it is now, we go get an italian soda or coffee and the local shop. Worst case scenario… free soda!!

  15. Lvl 8 FiFA Ref on said:

    I have only thing to add…

    “To him who slips off the throne…”

  16. Lvl 8 FiFA Ref:

    “Soon and very soon, we are going to burger king…”

  17. Mary Lou on said:

    Ok, which one is Van?

  18. Only Van can answer that question, lol.

  19. I have a ‘concern’. I guess this is the place Perry quits and I get his money (Hey $5 a month from $2.50 a month is amazing!!!) — all that I have to say is…YOU SHOULD HAVE LET ME IN FIRST!!!

  20. Mary Lou on said:

    It’s lvl 8 fifa ref
    No one else would put level 8 in their name
    I still vote you change his to Miagi

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