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Stayin’ Home…

Okay…okay,

Thank you Dinana for your constant reminders that I haven’t posted lately, lol.

It has been awhile since my last post. Just to let you know that I’m not just sippin’ umbrella drinks, here’s the deal:

Starting last Monday, I became a full-time stay-at-home, work-from-home dad. IE: I’m taking care of the kiddo and writing full time from the comfort of my home office. In all fairness, I didn’t expect this to be an “early retirement” by any means, but it’s been more of a challenge that even “I” thought it would be.

In that light, here are “5 Things I Miss” and “5 Things I Love” now that my office is down the hall.

5 Things I Miss

1. There are no “coffee breaks.”

Regardless of what you might think, there are no “breaks” when working form home. If I go to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, there are also dishes to be done, laundry to be folded, and a baby who is (in Dave Barry’s words) either just about to cry, crying, or just finished crying.

2. You can’t tell your 2-month-old baby that “I’ll have to get back to you on that.” If it comes down to getting that great idea on paper or comforting the baby…forget the Pulitzer, man, you’re wipin’ butts!

3. Nobody believes you’re really working. Okay, this is a toss-up, cause a lot of the time, I’m not really working. Still, when someone calls you at the office and you say, “Hey, I’m at work, I can’t talk right now…” they usually believe you. Try this at home…it’s a laugh.

4. I miss “Quitin’ time.” Make no mistake, at home there is no quitting time. You work, you do chores, you work, you manage the baby, you work, you eat dinner…then you work some more. This is nothing new, Moms have been doing it for centuries.  Stop what you’re doing right now and call your Mom, send her a card, book her a cruise. She deserves it!

5. I miss conversation. Admittedly, my conversations with my co-workers were usually pretty sophomoric, ranging from pure sarcasm to bodily function humor. At home with a twelve-week-old baby, you still get the bodily function stuff, but believe me, it ain’t no laughing matter!

Okay, enough whining…

5 Things I Love

1. I can go to work in my underwear (yes, yes…TMI.)

2. I don’t have to have change for the vending machine. My fridge has no lock, and I’m going to weight 700 pounds by the end of the year. When you’re writing fiction, twinkies seem to be the only answer to writer’s block.

3. I am un-interruptible (by most). No one just walks into my cube and starts a conversation regardless of what I’m working on, because I have locks on my front door. At home, if a stranger just walks into my “cube” I’m legally allowed to shoot him. Wouldn’t THAT be nice?

4. Napping is socially acceptable. No longer do I have to use excuses like, “I was meditating on the upcoming meeting,” or “I was finding my ‘writing place,” as long at the kid’s sleeping, I can too. I just have to make up the hours later.

5. My new “co-workers” are awesome. After spending 7 years trying to have a baby, I can, whenever I think to myself “I wonder what Gracie’s doing right now?” just turn in my chair and see. She never critiques my work and always has a smile for me (try getting THAT from you boss, lol.) Also, I can snuggle whenever I want, without risking being sent to a “class.”

So, that’s where I’ve been, but I promise I’ll keep posting. Any thoughts or tips from you “pros” on this whole “stay at home” thing?

Okay, I’m outta here.

Go call your mother!

-Perk

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7 thoughts on “Stayin’ Home…

  1. Gee Perk,

    I would call my mother if she weren’t…sniff…DEAD!

    thanks for making my day!

  2. Ok, now on to important comments.

    I stayed home with my girls until they were in school. Mind you, i had worked since i was 14 and so that change in my status was a bit of a shock. (since, according to you i’m just slightly younger than a dinosaur…”I LOVE YOU, YOU LOVE ME, WE’RE A HAPPY FAMILY WITH A GREAT BIG HUG AND A KISS FROM ME TO YOU…WON’T YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME TOO?)

    Even when money wasn’t the issue of working, my self esteem was affected.

    I was so glad when Shannon headed off to school and I could re-enter the workforce at a fraction of what i used to make.

    Oh well, you’re a writer…it’s not like you’ve ever made money anyway (ZAP)!!!

    i’m glad you’re back…really

    oh…and…GO FOR WALKS, MAN!

  3. As a homeschooling housewife and mother of soon-to-be-7 who also works part-time in her husband’s business and occasionally catches babies, I feel qualified to offer a few tips.

    1. Get on a schedule. I mean it. No kidding. Around here we schedule everything. The more structure there is to your day, the less time you spend thinking about daily, repeating tasks. If you don’t have to think about what is for breakfast on Mondays (or any other day for that matter) you save brain cells for creativity. This method reduces time spent on meal time decisions, menu planning and grocery shopping.

    This is a marathon, after all, not a sprint. At our house we have scheduled chores, meals, laundry and school. I suppose routines might be as good a term for our system because it isn’t just about the time of day that we accomplish each activity, it is about how we fit all these activities into our days and weeks.

    Flylady.net is a good source for setting up routines for around the house.

    2. Simplify. If it causes you stress to step-over it and it doesn’t have a place of its own, either find a place for it immediately or pass it on.

    3. Love that baby, ’cause they grow up fast.

  4. Dinana – why are you sniffing your dead mother?

  5. AaDO's wife--SuperDi on said:

    I completely second the “don’t-have-to-think-about-it” habitual routines tip. Saved my sanity (some question that but, honestly, it really did).
    Make sure to have some form of outside of the house conversation with other adults. This is why another SAHM mom friend and I talk to each other on the phone every day while doing some of our household chores and such–it’s the spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down. LOL
    di

  6. Mr. E. Nigma on said:

    Hey, I resemble, err resent, those sophmoric, and bodily funtion humor jabs you threw out there… I used ti sit directly across from you! (which brings up another plus… your scenery has improved)

    Sophmoric!? come on! There is some pretty hign brow humor going on around here. Like the time when… um, or the when we… on second thought… ya we’re pretty stupid.

    LOL!!! (I just farted in your old cube!!!)

  7. Mr E:

    Yeah. I smelled that in my cube…I figured it was just your breath wafting over the wall again.

    -P

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