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Stay at Home Dads

Hey all,

Here’s a great MSNBC article written by Brian Braiker (thank you Dinana) titled, “Just Don’t Call Me Mr. Mom.”  Thought provoking an funny (my favorite combination.)

My favorite line:

“Still, the stereotypes persist. Martha Stewart Living recently hosted a ‘Mr. Mom Show’ in honor of ‘National Men Make Dinner Day.’ This was annoying on about 642 levels.”

Oh, and the butt-sniffing thing is true. 



PS – In searching for Braiker’s blog (I never found one), I stumbled across one called Strollerderby.  

From the page: “Updated more than twelve times daily by the wittiest parents in the blogosphere, Strollerderby provides a scroll of breaking news, spot-on reviews of entertainment and products, and irreverent discussions of hot topics.”

I spent some time there, and it looks great.

Definitely RSS worthy. 



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9 thoughts on “Stay at Home Dads

  1. As a man who has been VERY recently “separated” from my employment (read: terminated, ha!) I’m trying to come to terms with the notion of being home all day. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not climbing the walls (yet… it’s only been two days). I take my hat off to dads who can do the full day nurturing day-in and day-out. It takes a special (short bus?) man to jump traditional gender roles.

    I think these traditional roles exist for several reasons. First, I think that’s the way God made us. Men are more naturally aggressive and are the hunter/gatherers of our species. Also, Western civilization has reinforced these roles for millennia. This does not imply that we cannot overcome our natural tendencies or stereotypes. (Case in point, I DO put the seat down after taking care of business.)

    Most men would not thrive in a stay at home environment. I totally respect those who do. For me, there are too many mountains out in the big world to climb to stay home and just climb mountains of laundry.

  2. Big Dog,

    Thanks for the comments!

    I can see where you’re coming from, but at the same time, I think there is a common misconception about “stay-at-home” dads.

    I think that a percentage of us (maybe even a majority) are guys who have realized that they can take care of thier kids AND run a home business at the same time. This flies in the face of the common stereotype of “Dad in a lacy apron.”

    I’m not trying to be Mom. I’m letting Mom do what she’s best at, while I do what I’m best at (writing in my offeice at home.)

    Fortunately, MY job is one that allows me to take care of my daughter at the same time.

    I think that a lot of people, men and women, assume that a “stay-at-home dad” is a man trying to be do a “women’s” job.

    This is a sadly sexist point of view.

    I think my wife (and friends, of which you are one) would tell you pretty quick that there is nothing effeminate about me, lol.

    I don’t “replace” my wife in the role of “mother” she is still Gracie’s mother and I would never try to usurp that, and couldn’t if I wanted to. I think the common, and outdated, idea is that only “Mom” can stay home with the kids.

    Bull pucky.

    I am Dad. I don’t have any interest ( or the God-given ability) to be Mom. That is Vickie’s job, and only she can do it (and she does it excpetionally well). BUT, “Mom” isn’t the only one who can stay home with the kids.

    THAT’S the misconception.

    I am confident that I can be the masculine role model for my children and still be the day-to-day care provider. It’s NOT an either-or.

    The idea that to be a “stay at home dad” I have to teeter on the brink of being a soft-skinned, Martha-quoting gay-boy is purely a Hollywood affectation. (Of which any number of movies have been based.) That’s crap.

    I’ve done dozens of differnt jobs since High Schhol, and in the last three months I’ve learned that there “ain’t-a-one” that is tougher than nurturing a new-born baby.

    I’d like to see John Wayne hang up his six-guns and spend a sleepless month taking care of my daughter!


  3. Acerbic Villain on said:

    Regarding the butt-sniffing thing. Yah, very true.

    The sad thing is. On most days. I don’t think I’D pass that test.

    – AV

  4. Maybe writing isn’t your thing:

    (writing in my offeice at home.)

    I’ve done dozens of differnt jobs since High Schhol

    your response will be…

    BITE ME!

    Like I said… 🙂

  5. Dinana,

    Thanks for the critque.

    Just FYI, the commonly understood definition of an “Editor” is “those who cannot write..edit.”


  6. AV –

    “The sad thing is. On most days. I don’t think I’D pass that test.”

    Even HERE, there is such a thing as “too much information.”

    THAT was too much information.



  7. Mr. E. Nigma on said:

    The best part of the article.

    “Then there’s Parenting magazine. Look above its cover logo: you’ll see a slogan that reads WHAT MATTERS TO MOMS. Oh, really? This would be like NEWSWEEK’s suggesting that on its pages you’ll find “Stuff that concerns menfolk.”

    I have been a Dad for 13 years now. A dad. Not a stay at home dad (although sometimes I did), not clueless dad (although sometimes I am). My kids just call me dad. I find these categorical (I think I just made up a word! I’m running for President!) titles and names irritating. My wife is not a ‘working’ mother (though she does), or a ‘housewife’. My kids simply know her as MOM.

    We do what we think is best for our family, we do what we need to do to survive. What we think is best for our family. My parents did the same thing, they did what was best for our family, and what got us by the best they knew how. If my mom could have been able to make more money than my dad, I’m sure it would have been my dad staying home.

  8. As a new stay at home dad, I’ve gotten a lot of great parenting tips from http://www.dadlabs.com/ . It’s a fantastic resource, I highly recommend it.


  9. Jeff,

    Thanks for the link, I love it!

    I’ve added DadLabs to my BlogRoll.

    Thanks again!


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