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Kid Quotes


As a stay-at-home dad of a 7mo-old, I haven’t heard a lot of “quote-ables” from my own kid yet (tho’ I’m sure I will) but I also happen to baby-sit for our Ladies Bible Study every Monday morning, and you’d be amazed what a four little kids can come up with in a two hour period.

I’ve learned to just sit back, shut up, and listen…it’s better than any stand-up comic out there!

Here’s a few of the things I’ve heard:

Farm Animals
Background: Three of the kids are sharing a “farm animals” story book.
Little boy (pointing to the cow): “That’s an udder, that’s where the milk comes out.”
Little girl (who recently became an older sister): “Yeah…my mom’s got those.”

Boys vs. Girls
Background: Little girl is playing with a doll
Little girl: “This doll has an outie.”
Little boy (shakes his head): “Huh-uh, girls have innies, boys have outies.”
Little girl: “I talking about her belly-button!”
Little boy: “Oh…yeah.”

Chop you up
Background: Boy and girl are playing with two “karate-chop” dolls.
Little boy (to doll): “Give me your shirt or I’ll chop you up!”
Little girl: “Okay.”
Little boy: No! You’re supposed to fight!
Little girl: I don’t want to fight, you can have the shirt (gives him the dolls shirt.)
Little boy: “Okay,” (pauses) “Well, I’m going to chop you up anyway!”




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13 thoughts on “Kid Quotes

  1. Mary Lou on said:

    It’s not just kids.
    From a waitress going to Gonzaga University “I love kids. They are just like little people.”

    Two employees talking ( I did not hire either one)

    “Man I can’t believe I just did that.”
    “What did you do?”
    “Well I D walked right in front of that white mini van and it turns out it’s a cop.”
    “D walked?”
    “Yeah you know when you are not supposed to walk…don’t walk.”
    “Oh, so you were in the cross walk?”
    “No! I was crossing the street away from the cross walk, you know D walking!!!”
    “Do you mean jay walking?”
    “Yeah J walking, I get those confused.”

    Over heard years ago at a high school, one girl talking to another

    “I know what you mean. I love food, I couldn’t live without eating.”

    And finally a coworker talking about how her cousin has no body fat.

    “Jay is so fit, if he couldn’t swim he would drown.”

    And yes all of those are real quotes. Who needs stand up all you need to do sit and watch.

  2. Mr. E. Nigma on said:

    I’ve never been so glad that my wife doesn’t attend the womens bible study. than I am right now.

  3. Perry-

    I had to read this one right away!

    I was worried about why you felt the need to attend the ladies bible study. I thought maybe being a stay at home Dad had pushed you right off the deep end…but, alas my heart is at ease to know you are serving the Lord by watching the kidlets. :O)

    PS- Thanks for having us over. The Bar-B-Q only paled in comparison to the stellar company. :O) Gracie is so sweet Congrats to you both again!


  4. Jen,

    Glad you liked the article. As much as I hate to admit it, I TOO prefer Gracie even to my home-made bbq sauce. How the mighty have fallen.

    BTW, I had to interject an explanation at the last leader’s meeting, when Jeni (our women’s ministry pastor) mentioned in passing about “talking to Perry at the Women’s Bible study,” and raised several eyebrows, LOL.

    But, have no fear, being a stay-at-home-dad HAS pushed me right off the deep end. I actually sniffed a diaper last week! I think my “man-card” is going to be revoked any day now…


  5. Mary Lou on said:

    When did you ever have a man card?
    I must have missed that part of your life.

  6. “When did you ever have a man card?”

    This from the guy who taught ballet? Wow.

  7. Wow, a guy who taught ballet- insulting your manhood–your blog gets funnier all the time. I wish I knew the real identities of all your blog-posters. :O)

  8. Jen,

    Thank’s for stickin’ up for me!

    Actually…and it REALLY pains me to admit this, “Mary-Lou” is one of the most “manly-men” I know.

    Whether from an over-abundance of testosterone, or a lack of common sense, he’s done macho stuff that most of us “guys” just read about.

    You didn’t hear that from me, tho’

    Offically, I think he’s a wuss.



  9. Super Jen(complete with secret indentity) on said:

    Yeah, I may have tried to stick up for you. However, I would like to go on record that if Manly-man “Mary Lou” wanted to have a chat with me face to face in a dark alley–well, I run fast, very fast (defend yourself). :O) I will go on record as a smack-talker cowdering behind my keyboard. Thank God for my secret identity complete with a mask. :O)

    Uhm…Should I ask? …Ok, yeah I will. So, why the name “Mary Lou” then?

  10. I know who mary Lou is….

    I just wonder which one of the Quotes came from Leah?

  11. Mary Lou on said:

    “why the name “Mary Lou” then?”

    I have a very common first name and at one point worked at a bar first as a valet and later as a waiter/bartender. There were four other people with my name. To keep myself entertained while waiting for people to come so I could park their cars I would do handstands, and handsprings. One of the bouncers caught me and I was dubbed Mary Lou. Word spread fast there and by the time I was behind the bar the waitresses would tip me for doing toe touches (jumping in the air and extending my arms to either side and touching them with my feet). A trade magazine did an article on our bar and sadly I was mentioned, as the guy named Mary Lou. It stuck for years. I use it here just because few of my current friends would know the connection and figure out my secret identity. See super Jen you are not alone in cowardly hiding behind
    your key board.

  12. Mary Lou on said:

    Oh and Perry thanks for the compliment. I know it must hurt.

  13. Z – ALL of the girl quotes came from Leah, lol!

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